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when will it all end ?

Posted , 9 users are following.

cazjaz16
cazjaz16

Hi I'm 52 and been suffering years now with the menopause thought I was just going round the bend but after reading these posts I don't feel like that now, My periods just stopped 3 years ago and never seen or spotted again so in that way I have been lucky but mental health wise anxiety and depression hot sweats vomiting without warning have blighted my life. I've only just bothered going to see a doctor as I just thought I couldn't cope any longer but didn't really get anywhere I take Paroxetine and diazepam and trying to control such negativity and weird thoughts in my mind. I worry about my health and dying and loosing my husband but assume that's the menopause after reading some posts I feel like I'm just waiting to die sad I have some agoraphobia and can't leave the house alone but will go to the shops in a car with my husband. Can I ask when you use the term peri or pari what does that mean ? Also how long do you think menopause symptoms carry on for ?

Hello btw xxxx

3 likes, 37 replies

37 Replies

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  • jayneejay
    jayneejay cazjaz16

    Posted

    Hi Caz 

    sorry your feeling like this, i can totally relate and have felt the same  

    you must be post menopause then .. 

    12-14 months no periods is post menopause .( following peri) 

    peri menopause or premenopause is the years leading to post menopause .

    jay x

     

    • kristi63
      kristi63 jayneejay

      Posted

      thank you for describing each stage.  there are some people on here who aren't aware of the differences and the distinction is very important when discussing issues with your doctors. 

       

  • cazjaz16
    cazjaz16

    Posted

    Jaynneejay thank you for replying do you think if I'm post I'm getting to the end lol
    • jayneejay
      jayneejay cazjaz16

      Posted

      Hi Caz 

      i began peri menopause age 39/40 and it went on for 10 years.

      had hot flushes, anxiety, felt faint, wobbly, night sweats, achey body,  periods became irregular etc . 

      I didnt take HRT. Still dont ..

      i am now 18 months post menopause and still dont feel right .. So it doesnt really end when you reach post meno ( not for me ) 

      every woman different, no set time limite etc ..

      i do have annual well woman checks now, and i have been confirmed post menopause etc ... 

      after peri, then it seems other things start, like vaginal dryness. etc, lack of energy ... Seems to just continue ..

      ( i have had shingles recently and 3 slipped disks in back) so i am trying to see if the way i still feel is down to that or menopause.

      jay x

    • cazjaz16
      cazjaz16 jayneejay

      Posted

      I am not able to have HRT as my dad had a massive stroke age 53 and I also have high  blood pressure x
  • jennifer01077
    jennifer01077 cazjaz16

    Posted

    Hi cazjaz,

    I am so sorry things are so hard for you. A friend of mine has agoraphobia, but she has started to leave her house a little bit, very recently. Her husband is so supportive.

    Did you just start on the Paroxetine? If so, it does take six weeks to start working. And if it doesn't work, you can try a different anti-depressant. And also, I remember when I started on it, I felt a lot of side effects like extreme sleepiness. I think it will wear off.

    I think the problems with depression or anxiety are really strong during menopause because of estrogen peaking, with very low progesterone. So HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) might be really helpful for you. It looks like you are the perfect age for it. I think you can stay on it for ten years quite safely. 

    I am glad you got on this website! You sound like you've been suffering alone for a long time. 

    I guess your vomiting might be caused by nervous tension (they say the stomach is a second brain). Both the practices of 'conscious relaxation' and 'meditation' might help you. You can find out about them on the web. These practices cannot (in my experience) help like medication can, but they do improve the quality of your life once you have a kind of baseline mental health. 

    I learned to control my hot sweats with by eating less carbs, or eating carbs more spaced out during the day (5 times a day, rather than three). I also try to eat low glycemic index food generally. You can find out about them on the web too.

    Good luck with trying new things. I know personally how hard it is when you are suffering from anxiety and depression. Really hard. I hope some suggestions are helpful for you.

    Best wishes,

    \Jennifer

     

    • cazjaz16
      cazjaz16 jennifer01077

      Posted

      No I have been on Paroxetine for many years I have weened myself down to 10mg as the side effects sent me doo lally a few years back I wnted to go back on to Citalopram as the side effects are not so bad but the doctor told me not to chage at this present timedue to how the menopause as effecting my mental health. I had extremely bad post natel depression when i was young so didexpect something to return once i was in my change which it did sad What really throws me is the bad feelings which awake me during the night its like extreme fear which consumes my whole body and the acute joint pain and weakness which comes on and off as it pleases. well i sound like a barrell of laughs today dont i just LOL 
    • jennifer01077
      jennifer01077 cazjaz16

      Posted

      What you are going through is awful, no wonder you sound bad. I know what it feels like to wake up in fear. . . it is an awful experience.

      I do use progesterone cream. There's a lot of controversy about it, but it really helps me.

    • jennifer01077
      jennifer01077

      Posted

      And these kinds of symptoms, disturbed sleep with nightmarish feelings, they got really bad when I got anemic as well, so maybe check your iron levels?

       

    • kristi63
      kristi63 jennifer01077

      Posted

      eating less carbs (and spicy foods) has worked for me for hot flashes and overall wellness; lost a little weight too....  smile    and it seems others have joint pains that are attributed to too much carb/sugar as well. 
    • liggy42062
      liggy42062 jennifer01077

      Posted

      Hi Jennifer, I use progesterone cream too and was wondering how long you've been using it. Do you use it throughout the month except for one week a,month? I keep finding My symptoms like anxiety and insomnia worse during the week I am off it. I've only been on it for 8 months.
    • jennifer01077
      jennifer01077 liggy42062

      Posted

      Hi liggy,

      I think progesterone was my first step to taking care of menopause symptoms, so probably I have been on it for about 5 years. 

      I found the same as you, that going off it really made things worse, so I stay on it all month, and I use a whole tube each month. (that's 4 oz, or 112 grams). I am using about twice as much as the bottle says.

      I do think I am very estrogen-dominant, although (knock on wood) the estrogen is going down now I am 51. My periods have become less heavy and few clots, so it's changing. 

      The week a few days before and during my period must be very progesterone low because my depression becomes really strong despite being on anti-depressants. I had a month off work, so I could notice it particularly. I plan to really lay on the progesterone next month at that time. Ovulation is also a high-estrogen time. It's only a few days, but I am going to keep my eye on it. Roughly, I think estrogen makes the depression worse, but we will see after menopause.

      Because I suffer from depression, like you, I have to deal with the symptoms of menopause really aggressively. 

      I hope this helps you Liggy, and it's nice to talk to someone else on anti-depressants. I use Luvox, 150 mgs a day. (that's fluoxetine) and I  think the only side-effect I notice is lack of sex drive, which is fine because I am single anyway. Maybe my memory is worse, but it's always been pretty bad.  I've been on it for about 10 years or so. 

      I am sorry you suffer from side effects. Can you tell me about them? I am just curious, so please don't bother if you don't want to, or if you are busy. I don't want to intrude. 

      Lastly, exercise. It really does help. It's important not to overdo it, and even a long walk three times a week will make a big difference.

      Warm wishes,

      Jennifer

       

    • liggy42062
      liggy42062 jennifer01077

      Posted

      Thanks, Jennifer. I believe I am estrogen dominant as well (fibroids being the biggest indicator). It seems my moods rise and fall in the same way yours does. A naturopath I consulted with suggested that try continuing my progesterone cream throughout the month even if I have spotting because of the severe anxiety symptoms I get when I am not using it. I will see how that helps.

      My mom and my sisters have been able to take antidepressants for their anxiety but every brand I tried makes me feel like I am gonna literally jump out of my skin. It is very scary. I have been able to take benzodiazepines in the past but I haven't asked my doctor for,any because I don't want to become dependent on them and have a hard time stopping. I am just using GABA bilingual tablets 2-3.times a day and they keep me calm for the most part, except when I am not also using my progesterone cream. Then I feel really nervous, cold, and worried.

      This time of our lives with no pattern to hormone changes make it hard to manage symptoms, that's for sure. With tips and encouragement from everyone in this group I have been finding it a lot easier though than before. So glad I found this group! 😊

  • Ruthie49
    Ruthie49 cazjaz16

    Posted

    Hi Cazjaz

    Sorry to hear you have been suffering but glad you have found this forum. It's helped me a lot.

    I'm nearly 50 and still menstruating. I've suffered many physical and mental symptoms in the last year which have coincided with a change in my menstrual cycle leading up to menopause. I can relate to the anxiety and depression you describe and that awful feeling that you're waiting to die, as though your life suddenly feels over but you can't work out why because you know you have everything to live for, it just doesn't feel like it. It's a trick of depressive thinking brought on by the hormones. It will pass, I firmly believe it.

    I think you are through the worst of it and will start to see an improvement soon. I remember my mother going through the change. She had a hard time for eight years before her periods stopped at 50. She thought she was through it but then suffered more problems in her early 50s. But by 55 she really was like a different woman - much calmer and I've never known her depressed since (she's nearly 80 now). By 60 years old she seemed happier and younger than ever! So there is hope.

    I hope you turn a corner soon xx

    • annieschaefer
      annieschaefer Ruthie49

      Posted

      Ruthie-thanks for sharing about your mother as it helps to hear about the light at the end of the tunnel. Much like many of you, I get those horrible scary thoughts that you were able to put into words. They terrify me at times, and I am certain these will pass, but yikes it's crazy how an inbalance of hormones can really alter our perception at times. I always say this is PMS on steroids. I used to have a day or two of light sadness and crabby, but holy smokes.........this is nuts! I have noticed a lightening up of symptoms, still considered Peri, so I'm not getting too excited yet.

      If nothing else, this has taught me to not react when another women may act out. Before I would think WTH, now it's I understand and let things go.

      Thanks again for sharing!

      Annie

    • caroleUJ62
      caroleUJ62 Ruthie49

      Posted

      Hello Ruthie,

      I experience depression and panic/anxiety big time.  I know exactly hwat you mean about thinking your'e life is nearly over. I would really like to try HRT. I'm on Ad's already.  Up to even six months ago I felt relatively youthful, was looking forward to my sone being 18, the excitement of him going to university, the relative freedom me and my husband would have to do lots of nice things together.  We hadnt even totally ruled out living abroad again. We lived in the Far East for a few years where my son was born.

      Now I can hardly even walk out of the house on my own, - mostly its just to the shops in the car with husband, I feel so panicky all the time.

      I have suffered from depression for some years, but have been off the AD's for over 2 years now, then it all came flooding back.  I'm sleeping badly, have feelings of dread, am not interested in the outside world because all news seems bad, have creaking aching joints, and the hot flushes have started.  OMG,  does it really have to be this bad????

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